Friday, January 28, 2011

Coconut Pie [Low Carb] and My 5-Steps for Shoppers


I'm talking to you.

You, that person standing in front of me at the checkout. You, the person who can't put down OK! Magazine and move forward, with the natural progression of the line. You, the person who can't take their eyes off of the 99-cent Tide Pens. You, the person who can't make a decision between Spearmint and Peppermint Gum. 

I really think we need to have a little chit-chat. A little one on one. How about instead of stinking up the store with your spaciness, you pay attention. I don't know about you, but personally, I don't come to the store to stare at the ceiling or contemplate the 2-for-1 sign across the aisle. I'm there with a mission. I know what I want and that's it.

I understand that, in lieu of a clear objective, you may need some guidance. Maybe something that can help you navigate the treacheries of shopping, be it grocery or otherwise. So, for you, you giant space-case, I've developed this 5 step, sure-fire plan to help you beat your Spacey Shopper Syndrome or SSS.

1. Make a plan before you go in to the store. Know what you want to get. If it means drawing up some blue prints or schematics, do it. If it means memorizing where all the fire exits are and the closest bathroom, do that too. Just make sure that your plan doesn't involve making my shopping experience any slower than I had charted in my scematics.

2. Be aware of your surroundings. As shoppers, we need to have an acute awareness of everything going on around us. We have to know how to sniff out deals and where the free samples are. I generally abide by the rule that, if you miss enough sale signs, you're probably the person to avoid getting stuck behind in the checkout line, because chances are, you're the one in their own little world.

3. Don't bring your kids. Let's face it. While your kids are cute and adorable and probably great to have as entertainment, they're ticking, dirty time bombs. You never, repeat never, know where or when they're going to go off. It could be that bright sign that's specifically designed to lure in children just like yours or it could be the eye-catching array of chocolate bars near the register. Regardless of the situation, kids slow the game down. However, I will make an exception for those parents who have no other way to make sure their child is cared for while they go shopping. In this case, I recommend absolutely no sugar at least 12 hours before the planned outing and a good, hand held video game with lots of flashing and distractions. Make sure they're in a cart or stroller though. Also, make sure that video game has fresh batteries. Running out of juice in the middle of a shopping trip is probably the worse thing that could happen.

4. Anyone over 35, maybe 37, should not be texting while they shop. In a recent study, conducted by yours truly while he writes this post, I've noticed that anyone over the aforementioned ages just doesn't have the dexterity or coordination to maneuver through a crowd and type with one finger. It's an art form reserved for those below the cut-off age. I'm talking to you Dad.

5. Finally, make sure you travel lightly. I mean make sure you know how you're paying. Credit card? Debit card? Cash? Arm and a leg? Whatever it is, make sure it's with you and you know where it is. There's nothing more frustrating or time consuming than a person who remembers putting their card in their wallet, thinks that maybe they left it at home, and calls their wife to see if they forgot it on the table. You know what I call these people? It starts with a B and ends with an -ooger.


As a general rule, I usually make sure that I have some form of baked goods at home in case I run in to any of committers of the cardinal rules, listed above.

This Low Carb Coconut Pie is great for just that reason. Why you ask? Well, it's low carb for one thing. Secondly, it's 9 inches in diameter, which makes for a full night of comfort.

It's not overly sweet, which is great, but the texture is superb and the coconut taste is light but delicious!

Oh, and my mom loves the almond flour crust with the coconut.

Coconut Pie via Atkins


1 cup almond flour (about 5 1/2 ounces of whole almonds, ground)
1 cup shredded, unsweetened coconut
1/4 cup granular sugar substitute
1 egg white

1 can (14 ounces) coconut milk
1/2 cup heavy cream
6 eggs 
1 egg yolk
1/2 cup granular sugar substitute
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon coconut extract
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup shredded unsweetened coconut


For Crust:
1. Heat oven to 350'F. Mix almond flour, coconut, sugar substitute and egg white. If coconut mixture is too dry to hold together, add 1 to 2 teaspoons of water, a few drops at a time, until mixture holds its shape when pinched together.
2. Press onto bottom and up sides of a 9-inch pie plate to form a crust. Bake 15 minutes until lightly golden. Remove from oven; set aside. Increase oven temperature to 450F.

For Filling:
1. Scald coconut milk and cream in a medium saucepan; set aside to cool slightly. In a large bowl, with an electric mixer on medium speed (or with a wire whisk), beat eggs and yolk until frothy. Beat in sugar substitute, salt, vanilla and coconut extract. Slowly beat in coconut milk mixture. Fold in shredded coconut and stir gently.
2. Pour filling into prepared crust. Bake 5 minutes. Reduce temperature to 350'F and bake 15 minutes more or until a knife inserted near the center comes out clean. Cool on a wire rack to room temperature, then transfer to the fridge to chill completely. 

This pie is seriously good. If you give it a try, let me know!

Until next time, happy baking!




  1. Gah - I get so miffed when I shop. I can't stand being around people who seem like they've got no idea what's going on, especially when I am always conscious of other peoples' space and trajectory.

    Actually, I got into an argument with my boyfriend about that recently. He's the kind of person who will just leave their cart in the middle of an aisle, walk WAY away to get something and then come back with their selection. Not ok. Now he knows :P

    Phew - enough complaining from me! I always like to have something sweet to come home to too, just to help me relax. This sounds wonderful!

  2. I REFUSE to take my kids shopping (well not kids-plural, becuase the 1 month old is great), but my 3 year old.....never.
    and 100% agree with the space cadets in line. and get your coupons ready while you are waiting. or do it at home.
    and i wish i could travel lightly. i'm bogged down with a behemouth of a diaper bag. must be ready for any type of emergency!!

  3. Being aware of your surrounding always rates highest with me. I hate trying to squeeze through aisles cluttered with trolleys that the owners don't notice. But yes, coming home to something that looks as good your coconut pie would definitely make everything better!

  4. Oh yeah, saving this one for the low carb recipe files, it looks amazing!

  5. This looks excellent.. loved the introduction to the recipe.. LMAO! TYVM!

  6. You forgot about the people with packed shopping carts who go through the express check-out lane. Infuriating. My father actually used to go up to people, count the items in their cart and then cut them in line if they were over count. I wish I had the nerve.

  7. Gorgeous photo, And I love the story of your post. I would have been similarly anxious!I remember the tips of the dish.Hope i will make it very soon.

  8. 11.5 net carbs/serving.

  9. It was very kind of you to "make an exception" for the less fortunate among us (those who can't afford a sitter - in order to make uptight strangers more comfortable at the supermarket).
    Your rules are really very smart - especially the video game suggestion!! Once all of these parents (who can't afford baby sitters, and who take a long time worrying about forms of payment at the check-out) buy their kids hand-held video game stuff, they won't be able to afford groceries for quite a while. IT'S A WIN-WIN!! Their kids get to rot their brains with video games, while they starve...... and you get to have a more enjoyable supermarket experience!!

    Most people (myself included) are not overly concerned with the comfort level of the single man standing behind them, whether or not he is on a mission to buy his Muscle Milk.
    If you don't like dealing with other people - WHO ALL COME WITH INCONVENIENCES AND ISSUES - shop online. STAY OUT OF MY GROCERY STORE. I'm pretty sure that the check-out aisle has belonged to space-case mamas for a hell of a lot longer, than you've been around bitching about them!

    I love sarcasm - I am a funny lady! I write a funny blog - I live in a house full of dry, sick, occasionally horrifying humor.
    FIY - This post is not funny. Whether you are serious or not, you come off sounding like a spoiled, self-centered, entitled brat, who dislikes old people, poor people, and children.......not exactly what I look for in a coconut pie recipe..........
    Best of Luck with your mission to "cleanse" the world of things that inconvenience you, or offend your sensibilities. I wish you a childless future - full of grocery store trips spent quickly shopping for one.

    1. totally agree with you! My kids go with me. They remember their manners and they help pick out groceries. yes i have to tell them to quiet down or to slow their roll. They help unload some of the groceries unto the belt. so i keep them busy. I have a 7yr and almost a 2 year old. I do not give them any electronics while we are out or at a restaurant.

    2. totally agree with you! My kids go with me. They remember their manners and they help pick out groceries. yes i have to tell them to quiet down or to slow their roll. They help unload some of the groceries unto the belt. so i keep them busy. I have a 7yr and almost a 2 year old. I do not give them any electronics while we are out or at a restaurant.

  10. Why have you not posted the nutritional macros? for us low carbers its very important

  11. Turns out I only had half the coconut needed so made a half batch and put in large flute shaped ramkins I stumbled across at a yard sale the other day. I made an oops and put almond extract in for coconut extract by mistake, but the filling still tastes amazing. I also ended up cooking the filling on the stove top to thicken a bit as it seemed quite runny. Toasted coconut ready to sprinkle on whipped cream when they are out and cooled. Looking forward to these! Thanks for the great recipe!

  12. Not sure what is going on. The filling made enough for 2 pies but only 1 crust. The pie has been on 350 for 20 minutes now and is still liquid. Looks awful. All my ingredients were exact and I'm a pretty seasoned cook.


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