I've often wondered what I'd be like as a father. As far as I'm concerned, you can either be the fun parent or the disciplinarian. It's scientifically impossible to be both at the same time.
I'd be lying if I said I hadn't given a thought to the role I'd play. I picture myself scolding my kid for getting a grade lower than an A and then telling them that we're Italian, and Italians don't get B's! Then I'd send them to their room without food or water. I'm just kidding. I'd slip them a dish through their cat door. No, really. I am kidding.
But it leaves lots of room for intrigue when you're an uncle with two nephews and a niece. Sometimes, when I'm playing with them, and their cheeks are all red and squish-able and they're laughing and smiling I think about how wonderful it will be to have little people around to squish and hug all day long.
Then they do something bad and I'm forced to watch as their actual parents step in. That's when my vision of pure parental bliss is shattered and I'm forced to realize the inevitable. That I have exceptionally high standards for what I seem to think my own children will be like.
Maybe my kid will be the one who cures cancer and wins lots of awards and money and pay for my retirement at the ripe old age of 35. Or, maybe my kid will be less academically inclined in that way and focus more on humanitarian work. Maybe they'll solve world hunger or end war. They'll win a Nobel Peace Prize and pay for my retirement.
I can just see how my conversations of encouragement will go over:
Me: You're really smart. Work really hard and one day you'll be very happy and successful.
Kid: Wow, Dad! Do you really think so?
Me: Of course, Sonny Boy/ Princess Pumpkin Face. And, when your old man is decrepit and brittle, just remember that you're the one I want feeding me buttercream frosting with a spoon.
Kid: Oh, jeez Dad. I don't know. I might be married. I don't know where I'm going to be living.
Me: Excuse me? You'd dare let someone else spoon feed me? Me!? The man who raised you, clothed you, fed you. Taught you the difference between Coach bags and coach seating on an airplane? I get it.
It would end with me crying about my failures as a father. Then I'd reel them in with a few tears and a handful of guilt.
On second thought, maybe I should just get a cat.

Did you know that I'm actually already kind of like a parent? A few weeks ago I made an adoption. No, it wasn't a cat. It was Caitlin from La Casita Inspirada! Caitlin is a new food blogger. We met when I picked her up from the
Pop over to La Casita Inspirada for great recipes, photographs, recipes, and lots of mentoring/disciplining from yours truly!
These Cupcake Cones are great for those days when the kids just won't give you a break. Just give them one of these and send them to bed... or to the TV.
Chocolate Cupcake Cones via Martha Stewart
Ingredients:
14 flat-bottom wafer ice-cream cones
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp. salt
3/4 cup plus tablespoons milk
5 ounces unsweetened chocolate, chopped
12 tablespoons (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter
1 1/2 cups plus 2 tbsp. sugar
1 large egg, lightly beaten
1 1/2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1/2 cup heavy cream
Directions:
1. Heat oven to 350'. Stand cones on an ungreased baking sheet or stand each cone in an individual muffin tin. In a mixing bowl, whisk together flour, baking soda, and salt; set dry ingredients aside.
2. Fill a medium saucepan with water and set over medium heat; bring water to a boil. Reduce heat, and let water simmer. in the metal bowl of an electric mixer, combine milk, 2 1/2 ounces chocolate, and 1 stick butter. Set bowl over simmering water, stirring occasionally, until butter and chocolate have melted. Remove bowl from heat; stir in 1 cup sugar.
3. Transfer bowl to a mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. Add reserved dry ingredients, and beat until well combined. Add egg and 1 tsp. vanilla; beat to combine. Pour batter into cones, filling each cone three-quarters full.
4. Transfer baking sheet to oven, and bake until domes form and a cake tester inserted into the center of a cupcake comes out clean, 20 to 25 minutes. Remove from oven, and transfer to a wire rack and cool completely.
5. Meanwhile, make the icing: Combine remaining1/2 cup and 2 tablespoons sugar and cream in heavy saucepan. Set over high heat and bring to a boil, stirring constantly. Reduce heat to medium; simmer, without stirring, 5 minutes. Remove pan from heat add remaining 2 1.2 ounces chocolate, stirring until melted. Stir in remaining 4 tbsp. butter and 1/2 tsp. vanilla. Chill, stirring occasionally, until icing is cool enough to spread. using an offset spatula, spread icing over cupcake tops. Maybe add some sprinkles and a cherry. Serve.
Until next time, happy baking!
-Jordan

This recipe is so cute! I love the cherries on top!
ReplyDeleteThe cupcakes are really cute. I really like the layouts with the wooden backgrounds. I can tell you that having kids is more work than people think. My two year old never stops!
ReplyDeleteI so wish my conversations with my kids could be scripted and easy sometimes! These cupcakes are perfect. Very creative.
ReplyDelete@Bridgett Thanks Bridgett! I think my post was more of an idealistic relationship rather than a plausible one. I'm glad you like the Cupcake Cones. Let me know if you ever make them. They're delicious!
ReplyDelete@Tiffany Thanks Tiffany! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Jordan- I'm so glad you rescued me from the pound ;)
ReplyDeleteACTUALLY, I feel super honored that someone who makes things as great as these cupcake cones picked me! They look delicious!
@lacasitainspirada Caitlin, you're going to make me blush! I'm super honoured that someone as creative as you actually allowed me to adopt her. You could have been like one of those dogs that rejects its new family and pees all over the carpet. Not that you're a dog. You know what I mean..
ReplyDeletePrincess Pumpkin Face? That is something a "fun" dad would never dare call their darling daughter. And Sonny Boy? Oh dear. Just kidding. I just adopted a puppy, so I am turning into the terrible disciplinarian. Crap on the carpet? Fun is done. Climb on the furniture? Fun is done. Nip my fingers? Fun is done. Take a nap? Time to play! I'm sure your children will be geniuses and the family name will go down in history. But beware: you don't want your kid being famous because they overcame issues of dealing with a psycho father. Love your blog!
ReplyDelete@Merut Thanks for the words of wisdom. I hope that I'm not as psycho with my kids as I think I'll be. I'm also pretty much the exact same way with my dog!
ReplyDelete